Have you finally orgasmed yet?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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