OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
