At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
