i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
