And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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