Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
