My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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