in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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