We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
