Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
