Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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