Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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