i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
