I miss vodka workout Fridays
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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