At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
