Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
