I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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