There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
