i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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