i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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