I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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