She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
