Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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