Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
