I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
