walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
