I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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