Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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