used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
