i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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