Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need to stop coming to work sober
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
