I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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