do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
