Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
