Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You ruined the universe
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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