there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
