One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
