I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
