pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So much rum. So many feels.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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