I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Houston, we have a blender
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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