There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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