It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
