I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
