Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
