i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
