This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
