god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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