i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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