I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
