i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
