Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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